


I’m All Yours, Dear Heart Don’t Cry

by primo_nizzuto



Series: Cesare x Majid [4]
Category: Non Essere Cattivo | Don't Be Bad (2015), The Old Guard (Movie 2020), Wolf (2013)
Genre: But smut, Drugs, M/M, References to Depression, References to Drugs, So many emotions, Some angst, They've caught emotions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:34:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28304634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/primo_nizzuto/pseuds/primo_nizzuto
Summary: Cesare has spent so many years on a spiral of self-sabotage, can Majid step in to protect him from himself?
Relationships: Cesare/Majid, Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Majid/Cesare
Series: Cesare x Majid [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2055324
Comments: 6
Kudos: 71





	I’m All Yours, Dear Heart Don’t Cry

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so blown away by how lovely you have all been about this pairing! I've read every comment and i'm so touched by how kind everyone has been. 
> 
> I've found myself so taken by this pairing I love them both and hope you all enjoy this next part! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone.
> 
> Dedicated to https://shadyhideoutreview.tumblr.com/ who has been so incredibly supportive with this series! Look at the moodboards - 
> 
> https://shadyhideoutreview.tumblr.com/post/637439333031395328/with-the-taste-of-your-lips-im-on-a-ride  
> https://shadyhideoutreview.tumblr.com/post/637439667598409728/your-hearts-not-mine-to-weigh-primonizzuto

When it came to stepping into the ring Majid found himself imbued with a sense of absolute calm. There was something about the outlet of rage that gave him a twisted sense of serenity. In that moment he didn’t shake with nerves nor quiver with worry, instead he felt perfectly at ease. How different it was to walk into a fight when someone you loved was in danger.

What if he was too late, what if he was hurt or worse. That thought made Majid's stomach lurch with nausea. He wouldn't cope, couldn't cope if Ce was gone. Ce, maddening and frustrating certainly but the man he loved.

For five months they had been seeing one another now and though they drove each other to the point of anger frequently Majid found himself challenged and satisfied in perfect measure by the Italian. It was as if they were perfect made for one another. That didn't stop Majid from wanting to throttle his lover sometimes though. The drugs were maddening to him, if it was in his power he would take him far away from temptation but in the life they led it was an impossibility. As much as Majid hated it those pills kept Cesare financially afloat, they took care of his mother. But tolerating had its limit.

Over the past few months Majid had found himself slipping further into the criminal underworld himself, he'd gotten in with a few of the gangs to the point they often recruited him from robberies and odd jobs. It wasn't ideal but it kept him rolling in cash, and often in a position to keep an ear out for Cesare's side of crime after all he was certain the other wasn't telling him everything he was up to.

The proof of that came in a manner that had him filled with fury. In the duration of their relationship he'd seen Cesare drunk more times than he could count. He'd watched with concern as the man popped endless pills or snorted cocaine but this rumour had him feeling sick to his stomach. From the moment Ugly had told him a shipment of heroin arriving at the docks the night prior alarm bells had started to ring. Of course he had believed Cesare when the man had told him he was staying with his mother than night, hadn't even questioned it but now he had the sinking sensation he had been lied to. Only the weight of concern overwhelmed his anger.

  
  


His heart was hammering violently in his chest as he approached the familiar farmhouse, once upon a time it had been to be a home for the man and Vivianna till Ce had been honest in his feelings for her. Now it was empty save for use whenever Cesare needed a place to operate a business deal. He hoped above all hope he was wrong but even from below he could see lighting coming from the windows. “Goddammit” he muttered to himself as he spurred himself forwards taking the steps two at a time.

  
  


In all his years Majid had seen some horrific sights. He'd had men bleed out in his arms, he'd braced his fingertips over someone's throat when it was sliced so badly it was gushing blood. Compared to that the sight before him should've been tame, only the difference was that the scene before him was of someone he loved.

  
  


On autopilot he raced to where Cesare lay slumped motionlessly against the cabinet his eyes gazing unseeing ahead, vomit covering his pale grey jacket. “Ce...come on baby.” he pleaded moving his fingertips to his throat letting out a broken sob as he felt the pulse below. Timid and weak but there. “Come on baby I need you to wake up for me.” he shook his shoulders growing increasingly panicked when he received no response.

  
  


“Goddamnit Ce. I told you not to fuck with this stuff.” he shifted to haul Cesare up into his arms carrying him in the direction of the bathroom praying to a deity he wasn't even sure he had faith in any longer to give him this. He could take anything but losing him.

  
  


With as much gentleness as he could he set him down into the bath and turned the water on in the hope it would stir him. Grimacing to himself he grasped at the hinge of his lover's jaw and forced his lips apart enough to shove two fingers down his throat. The reaction was instantaneous as the still man retched, his slim body hitching over the moment Majid let go to begin to vomit., it was both the most disgusting and beautiful sound that the Dutchman had ever heard.

  
  


For the longest moment only the sound of Cesare's heavy breathing filled the air Majid simply turning to brace himself over the sink. He was a powder keg about to explode, he wanted nothing more than to head out and find someone to beat into a pulp. It was too much to cope with, his hands were shaking in a way they hadn't since he had left Utrecht.

  
  


Behind him Cesare was slowly coming back to himself, the younger man starting to grimace as he became aware of the uncomfortable sensation of his sodden clothing sticking to his skin. Grasping the zip of his hoodie he pulled the garment free of his body and tossed it carelessly aside. “Unfortunate...” he muttered to himself. It had been the wrong thing to say. In an instant Majid was grasping the front of his shirt pulling him half over the edge of the tub in fury.

  
“Unfortunate?! You nearly overdose and that is all you have to say about it?!” He roared grasping his shirt tighter. Gods he wanted his lover to see some sense about what he had nearly ripped from Majid's life. He gritted his jaw tightly as he pressed their foreheads together a moment, the intimate touch a contrast into the fury of his words “I told you a hundred times not to touch this poison...”

Cesare sighed reaching a shaking hand up to cup his jaw. Both were getting increasingly soaked by the fall of the water but neither moved to switch it off yet. “I have to test the merchan--”

  
  


“No! Don't you dare use that as an excuse. You took it because you wanted to take it, the same reason you take everything else. I put up with a lot Ce, I put up with it because I love you but I've seen others go down that path, do you want to know where they end up? Do you want me to stand next to your ma as she lowers your casket in next to your sister?!” he pulled back without warning turning instead to face the mirror. He heard Cesare drop back to the bath not yet stable enough to support himself it seemed. “Do you want me to have to go through that?...Fuck Ce, I _can't_ go through that...” he exhaled a heavy breath dropping his head down. He'd known he was an addict from the first time they'd fucked yet this was the first time he'd felt the true impact of the effects of Cesare's addiction in their lives. “Clean yourself up, then we are gonna have a talk”

  
  


Without a glance back Majid stormed from the bathroom. In a situation like this he'd typically slip to the nearest bar and stir up some trouble until someone gave him the excuse to lay into them. That wasn't an option here, he'd never lay a hand on Cesare, never in violence, never in anger.

  
  


He drew his lower lip between his teeth considering for a moment on just how to handle the situation. He couldn't simply walk out to cool off, he knew Cesare too well by this point. Knew the younger man would simply fall into an even worse spiral. No, he needed to be there to ground him and in truth he needed answers.

  
  


The sound of the water being shut off was what finally shook Majid to alertness. He raised his gaze to the hallway watching as Cesare exited wrapped in a bathrobe that seemed to swamp his thin frame, already Majid was making a mental note to try and make his partner eat more. What he wouldn't give to be able to take the weight of the world from Ce's shoulders onto his own, he'd do anything for the younger man. Anything. He let his eyes settle on his boyfriend's face frowning as he noticed the hesitation there almost as if he expected to be yelled at.

  
  


Swallowing back the rage that had built up at finding Ce had been so reckless the boxer drew himself to full height and stalked close to him gentle and tender as he cupped the sharp cheeks he'd spent endless nights caressing with his fingertips. “I said I want to talk to you, getting lost in a screaming match isn't going to help...now please sit down, you look like you're going to fall over.” he added in concern sparing a moment to rest their foreheads together.

  
  


As Cesare walked to towards the sofa Majid couldn't help but draw comparison to Bambi, he looked so unsteady on his legs, so vulnerable and uncertain. Even months on he found himself delving deeper into the hidden mire of Ce's lack of self care. He hated how much his lover seemed to loathe himself, hated the way he was so self destructive but oh he was too in love with him to ever want to take a step back. He loved this man with all of his heart, perhaps Ce saw himself as broken saving Majid saw something so precious that he would do all he could to fix the pieces back together.

  
  


For a long few moments Majid considered his words never once moving his eyes from Ce whom had sagged over with his head in his hands. Whether that was from the weight of his guilt or the lingering effects of the drugs he couldn't be sure, both the Dutchman suspected. “I wonder what I've done to make you think I'd want to lose you.” From the way Cesare's head snapped up he was sure his choice of phrasing was unexpected but Majid knew he'd made the right choice. That was what he needed to get across after all, his worry, his anger, his panic, it all lay tangled with the absolute fear that one stupid mistake could take away the one bright spark lighting up his life.

  
  
  
Approaching the younger man he kneeled before him setting both palms firmly upon the Italian's muscular thighs. “How do you think I'd react to finding you dead, Ce?” he pressed not pausing even when the other man flinched. “Do you think I'd move on like you were nothing? Do you think it wouldn't even matter for a second...” he could see the guilt cross his face and found himself unable to stop the way his strong hands shifted instead to cup his beautiful face.

  
  
  
Ce leaned into his touch clenching his eyes shut in an attempt to try and hide the wetness growing within the depths of his eyes. He felt out of sorts, his mind was swimming with the haze of the heroin, his heart was hammering in a way that left him breathless but it was Majid's words that had him teetering on the brink most of all. Cesare had spent all his life thinking himself expendable, and surely that was deserved given all those he'd hurt in his life. His sister and niece were long gone now, his mother was sickly and then there was Viviana, sweet Viviana whose heart he had shattered in order to follow his own. In his eyes he did not deserve someone as good and pure of heart as his boyfriend but Majid wanted him. He wanted him and he was there for him. He was there for him when he was strung out on so many pills he couldn't remember his own name, he wanted him when he woke from bad dreams crying out. No matter how much Ce fucked up Majid stood strong and unmoved always ready to wrap those arms around him.

Wetting his cracked lips he exhaled a trembling breath slowly forcing his eyes to meet Majid's. He knew if Vittorio had found him like this he would've found himself slapped, Vito was always furious when he got careless. It was quite starting to find warm eyes watching him with such patience and affection, it made it easier to speak the words stuck in his throat. “I'm sorry” he whispered unable to help the tears beginning to fall freely now.

Majid leaned in once more to rest their foreheads together sliding his thumbs up to wipe away the wetness. “I'm never going to ask you to change, asking you to change would be to ask you to be someone you're not...but please...please be careful. You know that you don't need to take risks like this, extra cash isn't worth the extra risk.” he sighed. “Your life is worth far more than any amount of money. I love you. You got that?”  
  
  


The sharp intake of breath from the Italian seemed to trigger a weighted silence as both men looked upon each other wordlessly. Majid had known for months that he had been in love with him, he'd have spoken the words merely a month in if he hadn't been so fearful of scaring Ce away now though he knew it was time for the words to be spoken. Ce needed to know just how treasured he was.

  
  


“Majid...” Cesare began though the word was spoken in shaken syllables, unsteady and wary. He loved the boxer with all of his heart yet love was such a complex emotion for him. He'd been to hell and back so many times that being so open verbally was challenging for him. “I...I..”  
  
  


  
“I know. I know Ce.” Majid soothed carefully pressing his lips against the other man's to silence his struggles. “And one day you're gonna be able to say those words with such surety that I'll be so overcome that I'll pin you against the wall and show you just how much I love hearing it. But I don't want you to say them until you're ready to. This is enough. _You_ are enough.”

  
  


Cesare let out a breath he hadn't realised he had been holding all of the tension seeming to seep from his body in that moment. What had had done to deserve this man? All his life was filled with endless bad deeds and life had certainly punished him for them in karma but now he held the heart of this incredible man. “I would not be opposed to that suggestion...” he finally stammered out smiling genuinely as Majid let out a warm peel of laughter.  
  
  


“The only place I'm carrying you to is bed.” Majid replied as he rose to his feet making a point to set his hands upon his hips disapprovingly, the smirk upon his lips ruined any chance he had of looking strict.

  
  


“And what if I do not want to lie down to rest just yet?” Cesare's hands moved towards his belt only to be caught by the other man's.

  
  
  
“I swear you are gonna be the death of me.” Majid muttered under his breath barely keeping himself from letting Ce's hands wander where they may. “You're high, you're high and you're tired and you need to lie down.”

  
  
  
“This is not the first time I've come onto you high” Ce responded brattishly as he smirked at the other. “And I am aware of what I'm doing...”

  
  
  
“I'm trying to be responsible here. And the responsible thing is to get you to bed.” Majid countered stubbornly. This time he gave no chance for the younger man to argue as he pulled at his hands in order to get him vertical just long enough to heft him over his shoulders. It was worth it for the startled sound the other man made. Given the late hour and Ce's state he didn't want to risk driving back to town so instead carried him through to the darkened bedroom of the farmhouse dropping his lover unceremoniously down onto the mattress. “Get something warm on and get to sleep. I'll go and fetch you some water.”  
  
  


He felt a hand swipe for his hoodie but was quick enough to dodge it heading immediately to fill a large glass of water for his lover. In the peace and silence of the kitchen he let emotions overtake him bracing heavily against the sink. In his minds eye he saw the last moment he had held his brother. He had cradled his sickly body close not knowing that it would be the last time he ever saw him. He knew in the depths of his soul that losing Ce would ruin him beyond repair, he loved with all of his heart, that was his truest weakness. His father, Hakan, every one of them had seen his recklessness as his failings. Had they simply glimpsed below the surface they'd have seen his loyalty could be unshakable, of course Adil had known the truth and in the end had exploited that to his own ends.

  
  


So lost to the darkness of his past Majid didn't note Ce's presence until arms looped around his waist. The way the man's chin hooked over his shoulder pulled him back to the present filling his aching heart with warmth. “...I thought I put you to bed.”

  
  
“I do not want to be in bed without you” Ce whispered in return pressing his lips to a scar that lingered in place at the side of Majid's neck. One day he had promised he would catalogue each and every wound, he would find out the story for each and worship them with his lips, worship his beloved in every way he deserved. Perhaps he'd never feel personally worthy but he would show Majid how much he mattered. How much he was everything.

  
  


Majid exhaled catching one of Ce's hands to bring it up to his lips. “I promise I'll be there, someone needs to keep an eye on you after all.” he quipped teasingly as finally he broke away pointedly handing his lover the glass of water. “First you're going to drink every drop. And then you're going to actually dress”

  
  


Rolling his eyes Cesare took the glass from him and drained it making a petulant show of tipping it upside down to prove it empty. Even more over dramatically he made a point of dropping the bathrobe he wore to the floor.  
  
  
Huffing the Dutchman took it and set it aside. “You see what I have to put up with...” he muttered sending an exasperated look at the sky breaking into a smirk as Cesare landed a playful soft punch against his arm. “Come on you, bed” he commanded throwing an arm around his bare shoulders to guide him back into the bedroom. He had every intention to find his partner the thickest sweatshirt he could only soft hands covered his own the moment he opened the draw.

  
“Come to bed with me.” Cesare whispered.

  
  


“That's what I'm trying to do baby, just give me a minute to get you something to wear. Last thing we need is you freezing up out here.”

  
  
  
“You'll warm me up I'm sure....” He purred pressing himself up against Majid's back. He felt the moment realisation struck his lover and knew the other would argue. “I know you think I need to rest, how better to get me to lie down and rest...?”

  
  


Majid clenched his eyes shut shaking his head even as he knew he was giving in. “You are supposed to be trying to feel better by resting.”  
  
  


"I--”  
  
  


Majid covered his lips carefully with his hand pointedly making Ce focus on him. “If we sleep together are you going to stop being a pain in my ass and actually let me take care of you.” he tightened his grip just a little to stop the witty comment he knew would be forthcoming. “And that means for the next two days minimum you're going to eat everything I put in front of you, drink water only and get some goddammed sleep. Got it?” he asked finally pulling his hand away.

  
  
Cesare's lips were curled in a victorious smirk as he nodded in answer wasting no further time in pressing their lips together. He had expected a fiery kiss bourne in the heat of their debate only the way Majid kissed back was so tender and gentle he found himself lost to the softness of it.

  
  


Gently Majid slipped both arms under Cesare's ass and lifted him carrying him back to the bed mere feet away. In contrast to the way he had dropped him merely ten minutes before he instead lowered him down as if there were nothing more precious in the world, to Majid there wasn't.

  
  


In seconds he had divested himself of his own clothing too drawn by the need to feel his own heated skin against Ce's to take any time to tease. Their lips found each other's once again as they lay pressed together chest to chest simply losing themselves in the connection of the kiss. Pointedly Ce had bucked his hips up impatiently only for a strong hand to pin them down.

  
  


“We are doing this my way” Majid whispered as slowly he shifted onto his knees taking a greedy moment to look down upon Ce. Greedy eyes ran down over the pale, tantalising flesh to the aching cock and further still to the legs spread obscenely wide in clear invitation. “...Beautiful” He whispered glancing away for the merest seconds it took to gather the bottle of lubricant he'd stuffed away in the bedside table on his previous visit.

  
  


“Stop delaying.” Cesare grunted in frustration as he threw his head back against the pillow his locks spilling out messily against the stark white fabric.

  
  


“Patience baby.” Majid chided taking careful time to slick up his fingers. “Unless you want me to rethink?” he added with a challenging eyebrow seeing with satisfaction how Cesare immediately fell quiet. He knew that Cesare had a habit of liking it rougher, knew his lover delighted in feeling the burn of his cock but something about tonight felt different between them. It led to Majid being gentler in the way his fingers slipped one by one into his lover's wanton body taking patient minutes to open him up with due care and attention. He thrilled as Cesare let out a broken sob as two pressed up against his prostate, it was intoxicating to see just how much of an effect a touch from him could cause, intoxicating enough that perhaps he allowed himself a couple of extra minutes to tease the sensitive bundle of nerves to the point where Ce was begging incoherently.

  
  


Majid took in his tear stained face as finally he pulled his hand free and slicked up his own aching cock. He wanted nothing more to press inside and fuck him into the mattress, instead he moved slowly to drape his muscular form over Ce's. “I've got you. It's okay...” he soothed.

  
  


Soft lips pressed to soft skin under Cesare's left ear as Majid pushed slowly into his willing body both men letting out twin gasps of pleasure as the tight channel clenched his aching cock so tightly that he had to fight against the desperate edge of release. “ So good for me, look how well you take me...” The boxer stammered shifting inch by inch inside of his lover till his cock was buried wholly inside his boyfriend's body.

  
  


“Please....” Cesare whispered brokenly already so on edge from the way his beloved had teased his prostate that he was desperate for release. He shifted his lithe legs to wrap them around Majid's strong waist trying to spur his movements on without much success as stubbornly the other only rolled his hips slowly. Still the shift of his cock drew a broken moan from Ce.

  
  
In the months since their first time together Majid had spent so many nights buried to the hilt in Ce, he'd begun to challenge himself in trying to find new ways to bring his love to climax as quickly as he could. That couldn't have been further from his mind in this moment, he wanted to draw it out as long as he could, for him in that moment it wasn't about the release, or not solely at least. No, for him it was about showing everything his heart felt. So in place of reckless hard thrusts he instead rolled his hips in smooth but slow motions drawing his cock almost the entire way out of Ce's body before he would fuck back into him so slowly he was making his own cock ache with need.

  
  


His lips moved to press to Cesare's own stealing them in a series of tender little kisses. They were both on edge with the growing need so desperate that soon the kisses slipped into nothing more than shared breaths ghosting across each other's lips.

  
  


Majid trailed his hand between their bodies to take hold of his lover's cock beginning to stroke him in time with his own thrusts, each of them more uncoordinated but faster as they grew closer and closer. It was music to his ears to hear the vocal pleas that his touch drew from his needy lover. “I love you.” he whispered tenderly. “I love you Ce.” Below him he felt Cesare arch as climax ripped through his thin body, his cock pulsing it's release over Majid's hand. He didn't stop his hand nor hips as he chased his own climax thrusting inside a little harder as he grew closer and closer to the edge, breathless he buried his face into the younger man's neck as each movement became clumsier and more desperate. The Dutchman had been so close when he felt trembling lips press to the shell of his ear whispering softly. It was merely two words, two small words but it was enough to send the boxer crashing into his own orgasm.

  
  


“ _I'm yours.”_

  
  


It seemed that minutes passed before either moved and even then Majid only had just enough strength of mind to pull his softening cock from Cesare's body and flop onto his back. “...Don't forget our agreement.” he whispered turning his head to the side to take in the sight of his lover. Cesare was watching with such emotion in his eyes that the sternness slipped away immediately. Drawing the other to his chest he pressed a small kiss to his temple cradling him against his strong frame. He knew the road would be a hard one but he was going to do everything he could to make Ce happy.


End file.
